just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize