youre lurking in front of me
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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