even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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