I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize