Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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