Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
