Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
