so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
