He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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