The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
