i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize