i was born a porn star she said
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
