The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
