he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
