I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I supernannyed him into submission
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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