i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
