I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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