I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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