is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
