Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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