PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
