He passed out mid-signature
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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