Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Enjoy the penises
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
