the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
