I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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