remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
