he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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