I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
