I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
