She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
