make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
