we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
