What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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