the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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