the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
