do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
