He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
