Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
