Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
