so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
