the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
