dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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