guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
