haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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