Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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