I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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