Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
