I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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