He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
