she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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