drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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