people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize