do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Houston, we have a blender
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
