So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
