So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
