I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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