this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
