I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
