I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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