OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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