Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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