my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
