sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
