My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
