I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
